


imbroglio

by infinitelyrare



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Multi, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-23
Updated: 2014-05-23
Packaged: 2018-01-26 05:28:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1676447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinitelyrare/pseuds/infinitelyrare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a series of one-shots from lily evans and the marauders' sixth and seventh years</p>
            </blockquote>





	imbroglio

**Author's Note:**

> JP/LE

_October 1977 – Seventh Year_

 

This was his favorite time to be out on the Hogwarts grounds. The land surrounding the castle held a certain beauty and charm late at night, that was for sure, but countless midnight escapades shrouded in darkness and an invisibility cloak had transformed them into masters of night’s mysteries. Midnight was a shared experience, a witness to the many secrets of four teenage boys. The grounds at twilight, however, were James Potter’s alone. Over the past six years, he had found himself slipping under his Invisibility Cloak, through the front doors and over the gently sloping hills to sit by the lake near the solemn copse of trees when he was feeling contemplative. He had been visiting this spot much more frequently as of late, finding solace in the silence and setting sun.

His jumper didn’t do much to shield against the chilly October air, but he preferred it that way, reveling in the crisp freshness he had sought by leaving the castle. It had been stifling inside, and suddenly feeling heavy and restless in Gryffindor Tower’s Seventh-Year boys’ dormitory, he had jumped up abruptly from his bed, grabbed his cloak and rushed out of the room before his friends could ask him where he was going. Sirius, Peter and Remus knew he headed to the lake when he needed to think, and their suspicions would be confirmed when they saw his name next to the Giant Squid’s on their map.

He found himself turning his Head Boy badge over in his hand, staring at it as the setting sun’s glow caught the deep red stones embedded along the edge of the crest, making them twinkle and shine. For a moment, James found himself seized by a sudden desire to hurl the badge into the lake. It had become a source of unwanted stress and despondency recently, a constant reminder of what James considered his worst shortcomings. What had Professor Dumbledore been thinking by making him—irresponsible and reckless with an undeniable disregard for rules and authority–Head Boy? Rather than conferring pride or compelling him to change, the badge in his hand only reminded him of how many people he kept disappointing, and he wanted to be rid of it. His fingers curled around the badge and his arm moved back in preparation, but before he could do anything else, a voice interrupted him.

“Skipping stones?”

James’s head jerked as he turned to look at the redhead making her way down the slope toward him. “Hardly the time for it, don’t you think, with the Halloween feast about to begin soon?” she said casually as she sat down a few feet from him.

He shrugged, pocketing his badge as he picked up a small weathered stone he found by his side. “Not feeling very hungry,” he said shortly, expertly casting the rock so that it skimmed the surface of the lake several times before being swallowed whole.

Lily Evans snorted. “Come off it, Potter. You’re really telling me you’re going to miss your last Halloween feast? That you lot really have _nothing_ planned tonight? No disastrous prank that everyone—especially Professor McGonagall—will be talking about for the next two months?”

He found his lips curving upward despite himself. She had always been good at that—at making him smile even when it was not her intention to do so. It was, he realized now, one of his favorite things about her. 

“Dunno,” he said truthfully as he shrugged. “If the lads have something planned, I don’t know about it. I told them to keep me out of it.”

“Why?” a surprised Lily asked as she eyed him suspiciously.

He stared at her for a moment, not understanding her question. “What d’you mean, ‘Why?’”

“Why would you tell them you don’t want to join in?” 

He blinked at her, confusion still etched in his features. “The last time I checked, I’m still Head Boy,” he said slowly. 

“That didn’t stop you last month when you all pulled that stunt at the start of term, though.”

If James had still been smiling, Lily’s frankness would have sobered his mood quickly. As it were, his gloom deepened and he found bitterness rising within him quickly. 

“Yeah, well, you don’t have to remind me what a shit Head Boy I’ve been so far, Lily. I’m well enough aware of it already.” His voice was laced with a biting edge and he gripped another stone tightly in his hand, throwing it into the lake with such force that it sank immediately, pulled swiftly into the black oblivion.

Lily looked at him uneasily. “Potter…. I didn’t mean–“

“Don’t worry about it,” James said curtly, detecting confusion and the faint beginnings of pity in her voice and hoping to quash it quickly. “It’s fine.” Lily wanted to speak up and apologize for upsetting him, but one look at his set jaw stalled her.

An uncomfortable silence settled over them, punctuated only by the gentle _plop_ of stones hitting and sinking through the lake’s surface. Lily looked cautiously at James again, who avoided her gaze. His jaw was still locked, his teeth gritted and back tense as he resolutely kept silent. Silence threatened to stretch to eternity, but Lily was restless and eager—for reasons she couldn’t quite place—to resolve whatever unspoken tension had settled over them.

She spoke first as she passed a rock thoughtfully from one hand to the other. “Petunia and I used to do this all the time,” she said, a small smile growing on her face as she remembered the memories fondly.

James turned to look at her as she spoke. Lily answered his unvoiced question. “Skipping stones. We live by a river, and every day that it wasn’t raining, Tuney and I would spend hours skipping stones. It was nice.”

“Was?” James’s curiosity got the better of him as he sensed a hint of wistfulness in Lily’s voice.

Lily paused and let the stone fall from her hands before she spoke. James picked up on her hesitation and regretted asking her. 

“Petunia and I barely speak anymore,” she said, her voice carefully guarded and deliberately light. “She pretends I don’t exist when I’m at home. Embarrassed of me, she says. I _am_ a freak, after all.”

There were few times in James Potter’s life when he found himself at a loss for words, but this was one such rare instance. After a lengthy pause, he tried to find the right words and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry,” he said finally, willing himself to temper his emotions and reaction.

Lily looked up and let out a short laugh at his shocked face. “Don’t be. I’m not. There was a time she wanted to come to Hogwarts with me. Now she’d rather make sure her new life with her beloved fiancé has nothing to do with me.” Lily’s voice, so smooth and controlled until now, wavered on the final syllable and she looked down at her hands.

James felt anger surging inside him. It was unfathomable to him how anyone—let alone her own sister—could shun Lily, and he was infuriated on her behalf. “Then it’s her loss and hers alone, Lily. Merlin, she doesn’t know how much she’s missing by not being on good terms with you,” he said before he could stop himself.

Lily was taken aback by James’s emphatic outburst. He, too, had realized how forceful he sounded, and a faint blush crept over his face as he looked away in embarrassment. Lily found herself smiling, and after a brief moment of hesitation, decided to speak. “You know,” she said casually, “you’re a confusing bloke, Potter.”

James turned to look at Lily, confused by her lighthearted tone and unsure if she was teasing him. “Why?” he asked carefully, wishing he hadn’t ever spoken.

“I never know what to make of you,” she said as she tilted her head to consider him. “Sometimes you make me so _bloody_ angry with the pranks and the jokes and the bullying…” James felt a bit queasy as he sunk deeper into the misery he had been mired in. Lily could not have timed her words better to make him feel worse. He had never hated himself more.

“…But other times, you say things like _that_ and you look at me _that_ way, and I can see what they all see in you.”

James stared blankly at Lily, who had to keep herself from laughing as his expression slowly transformed to one of stunned shock. He felt as if he had been doused in cold water, and Lily finally burst into laughs as he sputtered.

“Who are you?” he demanded as he finally regained the ability to speak. “You’re not Evans. Someone’s taken Polyjuice Potion. Merlin’s beard, if this is you, Sirius…”

Lily’s laughter intensified and she couldn’t stop her fit of giggles for several moments. “It’s not funny!” James retorted angrily as Lily finally managed to get herself under control.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s not funny at all. I’m quite offended that you think I’m Sirius, you toerag!”

“Only Lily Evans calls me toerag that way. It really must be you.”

“Well, I’m glad you’ve come to your senses,” Lily said, rolling her eyes. “This conversation was starting to become a bit ridiculous.” She took advantage of his improved mood and tried to press forward. “Now about that ‘shit Head Boy’ bit from earlier—“

“No. _No!”_ James interjected fiercely. “You aren’t changing the topic now, Evans. You’re not escaping quite so easily. We’re talking about this!”

“Talking about what?” Lily was being deliberately difficult now, and an exasperated James ran a hand through his hair restlessly and tugged at the ends.

“Your hair looks like a bird’s nest when you do that, you know. It used to drive me mad, and I once dreamed of hexing all of your hair off just so you would stop,” Lily said matter-of-factly. James froze midway through his almost unconscious habit, gaping at her. “But it’s actually quite endearing sometimes, like you’re afraid you’ll stop being yourself if your hair isn’t completely shambolic.”

James’s eyes had nearly popped out of their sockets now, and Lily forced herself to stop talking before she blurted out what she had just been thinking – that lately, she had found herself wondering what it would be like to run her own hands through that messy mop of hair. “Now are you going to tell me why you don’t think you’re a good Head Boy?” 

 _She’s mental,_ James thought to himself. First she had complimented him–and more than once at that!–and now she expected him to move on and pretend his insides weren’t flipping? Had she forgotten everything she knew about him? That he had liked her for years? That when he asked her out, he was usually lucky if she didn’t hex him? And now she was telling him that she found him _endearing_ and that she could see why other girls liked him? Lily Evans, James concluded, had gone mad. He stared at her wordlessly.

“Stop looking at me like that!” Lily said, laughing again. “You’re making me nervous!”

“ _I’m_ making you nervous? _ME?_ Blimey, Evans, I don’t know who you are anymore…”

“I haven’t said anything you didn’t already know, have I? You must know that most girls love your hair ruffling bit.” 

“Well, you’re not ‘most girls’ are you, Lily?”

James’s words—so unexpectedly frank and genuine—took Lily by surprise again, and it was her turn to blush as she tried to ignore her quickening heartbeat. James, too, colored at his own words and cleared his throat awkwardly. He held out the stone in his hand, beckoning Lily to take it.

“Anyway, If you’re a master at this, prove it,” James said, tossing the stone to Lily. He knew how competitive she could be and hoped he could bait her into a game to distract her from what he had just said.

Lily caught the stone and stared at it in her open palm. She, too, was eager to move on from the uncomfortable moment, but she still wanted to ask James about his misgivings about being Head Boy.

James saw Lily’s uncertainty and shrugged casually. “Unless, of course, you don’t want to because you know you’ll lose,” he said airily, leaning over to take the stone back.

Lily suddenly closed her fingers into a fist around the rock and jerked her hand away from James’s reach. “You’re going to regret saying that, Potter,” she said menacingly. James grinned. She had taken the bait.

Lily narrowed her eyes at the Great Lake, her tongue between her teeth as she prepared to launch her stone. Rarely had James and Lily spent time together in such an amicable, informal manner, and James caught himself staring at her, slightly dazed by the small triumphant smile growing on her face as her stone leapt gracefully for several meters before sinking quietly.

“Ha!” Lily said, turning to look at James as he hastily shifted his gaze away from her. “Beat that!”

“Not to worry, Evans,” James said, flashing her his most charming smile. “I will.”

Lily cast a sideways glance at James and smiled to herself. She knew James had initiated this game to avoid talking about more difficult matters, but she could tell that he was feeling better himself without realizing it. For a few minutes, silence once again stretched over them, but this time it was comfortable and broken only by occasional banter and murmurs of, _“Accio!”_ as they summoned more stones to throw. Soon enough, however, the teasing escalated to insults and shouts of injustice. 

“You PRAT!” Lily yelled, her words engulfed in laughter. “You cheated!”

James feigned ignorance as he gasped dramatically. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Evans. I can’t believe you would accuse me of foul play when the truth is that it was _horribly_ obvious that you cast that one all wrong. I reckon it’s the sore loser in you coming out—“ 

Lily shoved James to the ground roughly as they both burst into laughter. She hit his arm (“Ow, Evans! No need to get so shirty!”) as she wrenched his other hand out of the pocket of his robes, where it was curled around his wand.

“I knew it! You were charming my stones askew, you dolt! What a wretched act of sabotage. I demand you forfeit immediately. I win by default,” Lily said loftily.

James smiled and shook his head slightly, captivate once again by her radiant smile. He held his hands up in a gesture of resignation and laughed, conceding defeat. Lily met his warm gaze and felt nervous in a way she wasn’t ready to acknowledge. Suddenly, she felt compelled to put more distance between James and herself, and she stood up and idly brushed stray grass off her robes.

“Well, I’m afraid I have to leave you here alone to wallow in your defeat, Potter. I’ve got to return before the feast begins—Dumbledore and McGonagall won’t be pleased if neither of us are there.”

James nodded. “I’ll be in soon, too. Don’t worry, I won’t leave you to handle the Halloween mishaps by yourself.”

Lily gave him a small smile. “I know you won’t. See you soon,” she said as she turned toward the castle, leaving James staring pensively at the lake again.

She had walked only a few steps before she stopped in her tracks and turned once again to James, who was resting back on his arms.

“James,” she called out, hoping he wouldn’t notice the undercurrent of nervousness in her voice. He craned his neck to look at her in surprise; she had only ever used his first name a handful of times in the seven years they had known each other, and never in the way she had just said it now. He could hear his own heartbeat in his ears as she tentatively took a few steps closer and began speaking. 

“I can’t pretend to know what your doubts are, but I do hope you know that Professor Dumbledore didn’t get it wrong. People look up to you, James. And not just for being Quidditch captain and top of our year. They know you care about doing the right thing, about standing up for what’s right.” Lily swallowed and continued after a moment’s hesitation. “Like when you helped Severus and probably saved his life that time. Those bits matter. They matter to the school, to me, to Dumbledore and the professors. I just hope you know that.” Lily finished speaking in a rush and let out a relieved breath she didn’t know she had been holding in. She averted her eyes until she could no longer avoid looking at James.

When their eyes met, James looked both solemn and taken aback. There was something about his expression that Lily couldn’t quite place, but behind his glasses, his eyes were bright. When he finally spoke, his voice was gruff. “Thanks, Lily,” he said hoarsely. “Really.”

Lily smiled with relief and nodded. She felt much bolder and more comfortable now and decided to take a risk. “Besides,” she called out as she turned her back to James and continued walking back up to the castle, “you must be doing something right if you’ve got me doubting my long-held opinions of you, don’t you think?”

As she tossed a look over her shoulder, she saw James’s entire body freeze and she grinned as she headed up the hill toward the glimmering lights of the Great Hall.

“Lily…” she heard James say faintly. Her smile widened, but she continued walking and didn’t turn back to him. “Evans, you can’t just say that and _leave_ …”


End file.
